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Noticeably late for work, I try and sit down without a fuss. My attempt to make a quite transition into work mode is interrupted by my work mate, Lana, “I wish you were here earlier, there is a really hot guy in the interview room!” I instantly downgrade my expectations because like myself, Lana tends to fixate on the hottest person in her vicinity and give them 10/10. I ask her quietly, “Is he still in the interview room”. She replies “yes”, the promise of his eventual saunter past our workstation glowing in her eyes! I replied disbelievingly “we will see when he comes out then”...

When he came out of that interview room I was transfixed! Somewhere in my brain he had ticked all the primordial boxes. His figure cut through the air like a hot knife through butter. Somehow prince charming out of Snow White had managed to step out of his fairytale world and stumbled in upon an interview for an advertising role and had swapped his burgundy cape and tight fitting leggings (mmm…) for a fine tailored suit! As the interview process concluded I hoped he knew more than just how to “fairytale pash” and that he had impressed in his interview. He walked past my desk we made eye contact. The colour change in my face, Lana would later point out, must have been all too evident – he gave me a knowing smile.  I couldn’t help but smile back.

To me the most appropriate choice for the available role was abundantly clear, hence why I’m not in HR. My workplace would resemble Temptation Island and little would get done! However, I could not help but try and include myself in the decision making process to make this fine specie of human being available for my daily ocular consumption. I begin my lobbying. I tell Fiona, NWN Sales Manager, what I think and where he should be seated. In jest she said she would see what she could do and I add on that if you “don’t ask, you don’t get”. The Sales person ion her appreciates my move to close and she nods with a smile. I forward an email to my Operations Manager and get a reply “Hands off Nick, he is engaged” – which upon later investigation I find to be totally false. None the less I reinforce my view with James (the Operations Manager) that having this team member on board will likely increase engagement in the workplace. He finds it hard to disagree despite his straight and narrow disposition! I mention to James that all he need to do to make sales is put the boy out on the road; his presentation can be but a mere smile and sultry glance and the dollars would role in!

To my delight I found out today who the successful candidates are and that they won’t be sitting too far from Lana and I…I know he is probably straight and partnered up, but hell it’s nice to have something beautiful to look at to pass the day in lieu of the extensive views of Hyde Park the News Digital Staff get. All we have are fleeting glimpses of the outside world through distant windows and an abundance of fluorescent light…the type of light that makes you shudder in bathroom mirrors; the type of light that makes you think twice while trying on clothe sin department stores (why do they uses it!).

Prince charming is next weeks news – will report on after this weekend of excitement! On Saturday night we have our Life Savers With Pride fundraising night at Slide and the Saturday Fucking Night Launch” at Nevermind afterward. With all the new recruits in Life Saving from last season we are sure to make an impact in red speedos, luring patrons into Slide Bar, to find out what LSWP is all about - Flesh, fun, sun, fitness and saving lives! The “saving lives” part should really be mentioned first in that list but is probably not so in the context of a night club on Saturday night.

I have to say I have already accumulated some amazing summer memories and summer is officially yet to begin! Last weekend I had the most awesome Halloween. I got dressed up in pirate garb and lashed on copious amounts of eye liner, then joined Ollie and Tom in their sensation, Supre, spray on designer pant outfits - snazed up with feathers and sequins;  Drew in his balloon boy box outfit with helium balloons to boot and Troy with his very low riding jeans and rock star wig + fur vest and headed out to Club 77 (which we didn’t line up for because we looked amazing), followed by Stonewall. Only Troy and I mad it as far as Stonewall. The others didn’t make the lock out and went back to Drew’s. Troy squeezed the last of the fake blood out of a tube he had all over my chest at Stonewall it was enough to cover my whole torso. We both ran around shirtless, covered in fake blood and danced into the morning. Troy had a bit of an audience – his jeans fit rather well. I left a red hand print across the horizon of his tan line – clearly above his low riding jeans just to tease a group of gay guys behind him…

All I can say is this group of people I’ve met know how to have a good time! The evidence of this is still imprinted on my bed linen in fake Halloween blood. I probably should have had a shower prior to going to sleep…

Troy and Ollie make the cutest couple and Ollie and Tom make the funniest of friends – their rendition of the ladies from Toorak always has me in stitches.

The empire strikes back

RSS feeds again

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Wii have killer CSI Deadly Intent contests!

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Enveloped in postcards

Photos of the week

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• 08:25 Haha, account executive bitching that Hungry Beast starts with 'really weak' comedy then has actual content hidden away. #
• 11:55 Aaargh, so much good stuff coming from #media140, wish I was there and not at work. #
• 12:50 'The medium has much less influence on the message than many imagine...it's the reaction, the engagement' -Turnbull, being 2 cute? #media140 #
• 12:59 Sick of Turnbull characterising much of Twitter as self-absorbed 'I have a headache' etc, inaccurate cliche about Twitter IMO #media140 #

• 05:44 Plate of 14 hour old fairy bread sitting at my desk. Thankyou for caring, oh workplace of mine. #
• 10:35 Levi-Strauss died. bit.ly/1oBenc Heard on Twitter, not Austn media. If Foucault rose from the grave, the ABC might mention it. #
• 12:07 Discussion of so many wanting plastic surgery. Rebecca Le Tourneau sez Britney is healthier body ideal than models. So..? Pay to be Britney? #
• 12:08 As with its sugar addiction, the human race is naturally addicted to prettiness. Fashion industry conspiracy theories don't resolve that. #
• 22:01 Housemate says on nights I'm not home sleeping, they are free to 'watch a DVD together, play the piano, laugh'. #
• 22:02 THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE WITH A FUCKING COUPLE. I was clear about my hours before I moved in, but now I'm in the way of their love. #
• 22:23 Fridae's new tribe feature - you can 'chat with your gym buddies or work colleagues'. Coz those are the only two things people do, right? #
• 22:26 I mean apart from drugging, clubbing and fucking, obviously. #

• 11:14 I couldn't care less about the Melbourne Cup, but still get that lame little twinge of patriotism to see it a trending topic. LAME! #
• 11:16 Halloween still above it, though. <3 Halloween. #
• 13:04 Today in a rant against climate change science, Alan Jones read an email saying Gallileo was convicted by fellow scientists for speaking out #
• 15:31 I'm at USyd student union cafeteria. Scoop: gen z do not care about Melbourne Cup. #
• 21:21 Haha. KAK FTW. RT @MediaMook New MediaMook post: If you don't like Kerri-Anne Kennerley we can never be friends: tinyurl.com/yazt8ld. #

• 08:06 I am sad Halloween is over. This period between Halloween and the Melbourne Cup reminds me I couldn't care less about the Melbourne Cup. #
• 10:39 Uggh Melbourne Cup overload. #
• 10:44 Dannii Minogue's accent is a fossilized 1980s Australian accent. She sounds like Tegan Jovanka. #
• 15:49 'I Want My 3 Minutes Back' YouTube doc looks okay, if focused on white male tubers + not avlble in Aust iTunes. Trailer: bit.ly/y8e8C #

• 13:41 Adele Horin excellent on problems with HSC English bit.ly/3sBHL8 #

• 21:27 About to watch Paranormal Activity. Happy Halloween! #

• 21:34 Shit, all the money is missing from my bank account. #
• 21:42 I really can't afford this right now! #
• 22:09 Netbank paid a bill automatically .... or I paid it while delusional? Well, I'm fucked for rent money but at least none was stolen. #

Journal now in MEDIUM FONT due to overwhelming demand!

James is once again wearing the technicolour dream-cardigan op-shop find of the millennium when I meet him for coffee on Wednesday night. It has become ubiquitous. I expect it every time. We sit over a hot chocolate outside Grumpy Baker on Oxford St and watch the clone gays walk by and discuss plans for another trip to the Anglicare Depot in Summer Hill – “couture sold by the kilo!” The clothes are seriously weighed in a bag on a set of scales… I cease being James’ comical trampoline when James’ friend Breen arrives and later move up the road to rendezvous with an “interest” at Coco Cubano for the second date of the evening. I suppose “interest” is the best way to describe my arms length emotional approach to men. Mr Puppy Dog Eyes, as he will be referred to moving forward, turns out to be intensely intelligent, funny and witty and has big, chocolate, puppy dog eyes that smile when he smiles. I don’t want anything serious but a puppy can be a big responsibility!

 I recline in my comfy arm chair at the back of Coco Cubano and volley questions at him and suss out his demeanour…I ask him “what he thinks of Australia?” I can see him hunting for the right words as his pupils rebound off his eye sockets. He answers that we are “insular” and “inward looking” and “don’t look outside the box”. Initially I’m taken aback but this is mellowed by the genuine feeling and apologetic tone in his voice. In a matter of words it sounded like “I’m sorry but this wide brown land of yours it pretty shit...but I'm really, really sorry for you”. At least he was honest. I soon discover that most of the company he has kept has been engineers (as part of his role) and gay men. As a member of this exclusive minority of men that prefer the company of other men I will be the first to admit that most gays are incapable of discussing anything that falls outside of the Kylie – K range and I can't imagine most engineers as being culture freaks. I make a personal promise to try and challenge this sad view of the world.

The following day we meet again, this time with some of his friends, at the Green Park Hotel. I ask the same question, this time with all the warm, friendly, caramel tones my broad Australian accent could muster...and get a similar answer “Australian’s are inward looking and insular”. I didn’t take to the tone of a particular member of the group. He seemed to have a negative energy about him. He came across with an air of superiority hardly earned in the 5 minuets he had known me. Being naturally observant I had work a few things about him in the same five minuets – He had lovely, even, chocolate coloured skin, fine tailored clothing and a strict elocution suggestive of an upper middle class education and perfect teeth. However the way he sat in his chair he didn’t seem sure of himself – maybe if I told him he looked elite this would put him more at ease and he wouldn’t need to hold a mental mirror to his face with every waking breath!

 As I have gotten older, winning arguments with people has become less and less important. It now receives all the attention that an indifferent mother lion gives a cub, as she tries to get some shut eye under an acacia tree – meanwhile the cub whacking her about the head with a meagre, under developed, paw. I just don’t care to win. Nonetheless I mounted a half ditch attempt to address these Canadian cultural misconceptions.  

It was suggested that the mixture of geographic isolation and small population created conditions for an insular culture. To the contrary, I argued that due to the small size of industry and culture in Australia that we actually meed to search externally for much of our identity. I cited that most of our popular cinema, music, clothing and many of our business leaders are actually imported! It was as obvious as the Coke sign on William St...I could have continued and stressed that geography is less important with the development of the internet or even that we our “isolation” is written from a western narrative stand point. Our nearest Neighbour only happens to be the largest Muslim nation on earth! The main contender didn’t really have anything to say to my first point which was enough, except to harp on about how we don’t embrace our Aboriginal culture…I could have praised their Native American Casino success stories, but I didn’t. I also bit my tongue at drawing an analogy between the constant sentences that began with “I” from my new found “friend” and larger, noisier, dominant cultures that tend to naval gaze because they can’t make out the whispers and nuances of other cultures for all the noise of their cultural washing machine!

Ironically, I managed to leave his mouth slightly aja in offering what I thought was an olive branch / a bridge, so we could get over a conflict that I wanted no part of. I suggested perhaps we are “insular” because the relative peacefulness of Australia was indeed distance related - that our distance from conflict zones translates into a certain casualness or complacency. He gave me a patronising expression as if to say “you are one of them – those insular Australians that have no idea”. Another Canadian sensed the diplomatic crisis at hand and translated what I meant into fluent Canadian. Clarity returned to his face and he began to engage with this unlucky individual, at which point, I left the conversation post haste.

Mr Puppy Dog Eyes later remarked about how well read he was…I’m pretty certain that with the ratio of listening to talking this man engaged in that he’d have little but his own voice reverberating around in his head!

At the end of the day Australia rocks - our economy is unsurpassed in its strength, our social welfare system and healthcare system make America look like a third world nation, our weather is better and our people are more beautiful. Deal! - I didn't say this but I the child inside wanted to say it!

On an unrelated point - I will take people to task on is “Boat People”. As per my Face Book rant ... “I can't believe how all the morons have come out of the woodwork to jump on the "evil boat people" band wagon again! Approximately 90% of people that arrive "illegally" do so by aircraft! The demonisation of "boat people" feeds into an undercurrent of racism such as that exhibited by MP Kevin Andrew’s and his recent words about “racial enclaves”…I bet he lives in a nice leafy, middle class, white, private school, enclave and has never actually seen a place like Auburn (Western Sydney Muslim enclave) with his own eyes before.”

So I guess I pick my battles. I just couldn't be bothered with the full arsenal this time around at The Greenpark - it's a place where we talk "boys" on Sunday evenings - not politics... 

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Super-tweak for Yandex search

Postcards from the edge

Conquer Writer's Block

1. I find it easier to stand up for other people, and i wouldn't let it slide if they made a rude or hurtful comment.
2. Usually if a friend makes a racist or homophobic remark, I tend to let it slide. I think that while i would not say such things myself, I have no right to censor those around me.
3. This happens all of the time. I confront some relatives, but I refuse to if they are drunk or watch Fox News.
4. I'd let it slide if it was just a private remark... As much as I despise bigotry and intolerance, I know that you can't change people-they have to change themselves ...
5. Confront! confront! confront! Politely, but without equivocation.
6. SPEAK UP. Always, always, always speak up. Letting something slide lets ignorance win. No matter if it offends me directly, or someone else, I will confront the speaker and let them know that's not ok.
7. I don't get offended personally. As an immigrant, woman, gay and person of color if I took every single potentially offensive remark seriously I wouldn't get anything done.
8. I punch them in the balls. With my mind.
9. I do speak up, but often very timidly because I feel that I'm white and therefore I don't really have any authority to lecture someone on what's racist and what isn't...
10. Generally speaking, I do not let this shit fly, because it reduces me as a person, to this non-person and it replicates the destructive discourse that makes sure that sexual minorities, racial minorities, women, people with disabilities, trans people and every intersection thereof into something other than human... And sometimes... I'm just too tired to deal with it, so I roll my eyes, make a sarcastic remark and hope the conversation moves on quickly.

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Spotlight community of the week

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Photos of the week

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Curtains

• 09:51 Have to admit I mostly agree with A. O. Scott on Whatever Works movies.nytimes.com/2009/06/19/movies/19whatever.html #
• 10:08 Ian Macfarlane sez Aust 'clinging to 19th century ideology' re nuclear. Pretty sure it's a definitively 20th century concern, akshully. #
• 10:16 Based on @ebertchicago's review, I want to see This Is It. bit.ly/4eUl6J #
• 12:43 I have written 111,047 broadcast summaries. I appear in 4. My 'being in the media: summarising the media' ratio is 3.6020784 × 10^-5 #

• 10:23 “Teens can look forward to their futures ... adults are stuck with the lives they have created" - On adults reading YA bit.ly/MUl6t #
• 10:28 ...hope that's not why I read so much YA :\ Grossman's 'embrace of storytelling' explanation more flattering. (Link from @JustineLavaworm) #

• 08:44 David Marr on ABC2 talking about asylum seekers, so good. #
• 12:20 Morning Show claims 'Released in 1960, Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho was one of the first horror flicks ever made'. #
• 12:23 Even a short clip of (the movie) Halloween has me all tense and anxious. It's one of my favourite movies ever but fucking scares me. #
• 13:47 My most frequent mis-T9ed word: 'mother' when I mean 'movies'. T9 must think me Norman Bates ish. #

• 08:16 When I go to search 'Virginia Trioli', Google suggests 'where is Virginia Trioli', but doesn't seem to turn up anything. She's not on air. #
• 09:47 OMG new K9 looks lame! bit.ly/2Hxbg0 K9 was best when written as adult satire, not cute novelty. Bad DW contribution, Australia! #
• 09:53 New K9 reminds me of bit.ly/pR2Du #

• 17:45 HSC students who memorise essays get fucked over by different exam formats bit.ly/5noCI #
• 17:46 ...probably good, but even good students just memorise (a large amount of) set things to say about texts, then deploy them tactically... #
• 17:48 ...which requires more cognitive skill but isn't really a meaningful use of their time. #